“TP” is excerpted from Nowhere Near Manhood, by Michael Mecherikoff, available at www.NowhereNearManhood.com.

Sometimes I like to imagine the origin of stupid things. When a crappy commercial appears on television, I envision a large, expensive conference table surrounded by marketing execs in fancy suits.

      “No, no, that commercial would actually describe the product we’re trying to sell. What’s next?”

      Mumbling.

      “Okay, okay, I got one. Okay, there’s this sock puppet?”

      “I’m listening…”

      “Talking to a woman at a bus stop?”

      As the exec continues, the other suits are smiling and nodding. “Yeah,” they say. “That’s a great idea, Gary!”